guest spot of the week

On Josh Ballard as a Baker:
A Play in Four Acts
by Melissa Pants

Act I
In a grocery store.
Josh Ballard (to self): I will buy this cupcake mix & make cupcakes!
Buys cupcake mix

Act II
At 607 Tasker St. In the living room, with chartreuse & brown walls. The cat, Matt LeBlanc, is eating a fake Christmas tree. Amanda, Melissa, Sue & Josh Ballard are watching ANTM.
ANTM ends, & LOST is about to begin.
Josh Ballard: Um, I'll go make cupcakes while you guys watch LOST.
A,M,S: Sounds good.
Josh heads to the kitchen, ostensibly to make cupcakes. The time is 9 PM.

Act III
An hour has passed, & it is now 10 PM. LOST has ended. Amanda, Melissa & Sue are seated in the living room. Josh enters.
Josh Ballard (quietly, in Sue's ear): Um...Sue? Can I ask you a question in the other room?
Sue: Okay.
Josh and Sue go to the kitchen.

Act IV
In the kitchen. The stand mixer is on the table, making irregular clunking noises as it whirls around an empty bowl that does not fit with the mixer.
Josh Ballard: Um...how do you make cupcakes?

End.

JB quote of the week

"I have a headache. I don't know why, I've done everything right."

JB quote(s) of the week

"Seems like a butterfly, stings like a bee: The butterfly effect."

"I am not watching this movie with you sitting next to me eating scrambled eggs."

"Is there an awkward love language? Because I would probably be that."