JB quote of the week

"Our waitress freaks me out... she's too attentive. It gives me a false sense of security."

JB quote of the week

"I don't need a chair, a chair will just decrease my lifespan, that's the way I look at it."

JB quote of the week

"Ryan, what we call wine is different from beer. I'm not sure how else to explain this to you."

A Conversation with Josh

Josh Ballard rented a Chevy Malibu for the weekend, so he could more easily get to various Memorial Day BBQs. He drove me home from the finale:

After a moment of silence, Josh said, "I wish I could drive this car for a living, it's so quiet."
"You want to get paid to drive this specific car?" I asked.
"Yeah, there are truck drivers, I want to get paid to be a car driver. I could transport cargo."
"You could call it "EsCarGo," I laughed.
"I could transport sea food from the Chesapeake to Lancaster."

JB photo of the week

JB quote of the week

"I don't know, it surprises me that i'm related to my parents."

1%

JB quote of the week

"I'm going to post a picture of a dolphin with wires coming out of its head, on facebook with a caption that says: "We are the 1%""

JB quote of the week

"Wait, what aspects of noir am i not aware of?"

JB quotes of the week

Cosby Show Edition:

"Growing up my dad would say: "why aren't you more like Rudy Huxtable.""

"Why don't they just call it the Rudy Huxtable Show? That's the show i would want to watch."

JB quote of the week

"I can't wait until they open a Vietnamese Dunkin' Donuts."

JB quote of the week

"All I have to do is pretend that is a Tater Tot, and I won't want it."

grow

Exhibit A:

in which Josh's one arm is almost definitely longer than his other arm.

[For more "context," see entries from 2nd May 2009, and more importantly 10th November 2007]

JB quote of the week

"Guys, seriously, can people breathe through their ears?"

JB photo of the week

JB quote of the week

"I ate dinner already... but I don't know if it worked."

JB quote of the week

"Listen, I can't make my legs any more disappointing than this."

JB quote of the week

"I come from a long line of religious mystics."

JB quote of the week

"I wasn't raised to be a man... I was raised to be an educated housewife."

JB quote of the week

"I got an earache on Friday. I think I can hear fine, but it feels like I can't."