On Josh Ballard as a Baker:
A Play in Four Acts
by Melissa Pants
Act I
In a grocery store.
Josh Ballard (to self): I will buy this cupcake mix & make cupcakes!
Buys cupcake mix
Act II
At 607 Tasker St. In the living room, with chartreuse & brown walls. The cat, Matt LeBlanc, is eating a fake Christmas tree. Amanda, Melissa, Sue & Josh Ballard are watching ANTM.
ANTM ends, & LOST is about to begin.
Josh Ballard: Um, I'll go make cupcakes while you guys watch LOST.
A,M,S: Sounds good.
Josh heads to the kitchen, ostensibly to make cupcakes. The time is 9 PM.
Act III
An hour has passed, & it is now 10 PM. LOST has ended. Amanda, Melissa & Sue are seated in the living room. Josh enters.
Josh Ballard (quietly, in Sue's ear): Um...Sue? Can I ask you a question in the other room?
Sue: Okay.
Josh and Sue go to the kitchen.
Act IV
In the kitchen. The stand mixer is on the table, making irregular clunking noises as it whirls around an empty bowl that does not fit with the mixer.
Josh Ballard: Um...how do you make cupcakes?
End.
18 January 2008
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3 comments:
this is certainly a personal favorite.
amazing.
i would love if this became a collective blog of josh ballard experiences.
can i be in love with the collective you? you meaning r&j?
too late.
a.
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